broken strings

i'm sad.
there, i said it.
and i know this will pass, i know i made it with my own hands, but i can't help thinking that it's the right thing to do. i just want to be happy and free, i want a normal, peaceful life, a life where i don't have to impress anybody.
i'm sick of pretending, even now...that i'm ok, when i'm not. nobody truly cares anyway, they all tell you how to act so you can be happy, but nothing ever truly works. i hope time will heal, or at least conceal this...empty space.
i'm broken and i still love him with the pieces left.
and i just want to say it: I DESERVE TO BE HAPPPY! I DESERVE A BETTER LIFE, ONE IN WHICH I CAN BE MYSELF, DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT OTHER CONSIDER WHAT IS GOOD FOR ME!
i can take advices, i can...but i can think too, i don't have to do everything other people tell me or expect me to do! i can think for myself, i can be whoever i wish to be, I AM A GOOD PERSON, DAUGHTER AND FRIENDS. i LOVE every person in my life, i LOVE helping my friends and i DON'T expect nothing in return... i just want everybody to let me be, accept me for who i am, love me, because i fucking deserve it!
mede, you're here for me, i know, i love you!
and it feels so great to "shout" this to the world! although only you are reading
i don't think anything i wrote makes any sense, because i've been keeping everything bottled up, i feel...free.


-bella

p.s.