joi, 17 martie 2011

broken strings

i'm sad.
there, i said it.
and i know this will pass, i know i made it with my own hands, but i can't help thinking that it's the right thing to do. i just want to be happy and free, i want a normal, peaceful life, a life where i don't have to impress anybody.
i'm sick of pretending, even now...that i'm ok, when i'm not. nobody truly cares anyway, they all tell you how to act so you can be happy, but nothing ever truly works. i hope time will heal, or at least conceal this...empty space.
i'm broken and i still love him with the pieces left.
i can take advices, i can...but i can think too, i don't have to do everything other people tell me or expect me to do! i can think for myself, i can be whoever i wish to be, I AM A GOOD PERSON, DAUGHTER AND FRIENDS. i LOVE every person in my life, i LOVE helping my friends and i DON'T expect nothing in return... i just want everybody to let me be, accept me for who i am, love me, because i fucking deserve it!
mede, you're here for me, i know, i love you!
and it feels so great to "shout" this to the world! although only you are reading
i don't think anything i wrote makes any sense, because i've been keeping everything bottled up, i



luni, 7 martie 2011

Move ur ass back here!

Damn it woman, i haven't seen you in ages, i haven't been sleeping either...something is fucking up my feng shui lately. I want to hug the life out of you while we have a cup of tea and discuss weird stuff about our boyfriends behind their backs. Come to TM already! :*

miercuri, 12 ianuarie 2011

You are...

I didn't want to post anything before meeting with Bella this week. Best tea I've had this year, by the way!...I'm glad i finally got to see her, talk about boys and sex toys...I'm kidding, obviously. Well, not entirely.Anyhow, it made me feel like I've been given such a blessing .I realize that I might not have found the love of my life, I might have found it and lost it, I might not have the best siblings (except my mom, she's AWESOME!...and there are a few more exceptions to that rule), but what I HAVE found is a few good friends that I can count on. More than that, I have found a soul mate, a sister. I've found that one person that i can tell everything to, the one that will never let me down, the one that won't lie to me to make me feel better, because she'd rather help me solve the problem than let me avoid it. The one who always gives me a good advice, the one who can always make me laugh, the one who's never to tired to listen. The one who truly CARES. Well, the fact that she's slightly mental and just as chocoholic as I am might have played a key part in this friendship's story, but we'll discuss those in another "chapter" Right now, I'm just grateful to The Universe.for assigning me the BEST best friend there is.She asked people to describe her in one word this week.I know that I've already done my part there and I don't want to take back my word and replace it, but I just want you to know that the first word that comes to my mind when I think of you as a whole, not only as my best friend, is PURE. Because you keep your promises and respect your beliefs, because you treat everyone with kindness, because you fight for what you want and what you love. She might be one of the few innocent beings left in this dirty world(if we overlook the watching porn part, that is!). 

I just want to thank you for being you, Bella! Hope you realize how special you are to me ! :*

luni, 10 ianuarie 2011


I miss Medeea, having a relaxing cup of tea, not thinking about my next exam or my future, i miss taking pictures, walking in the park and spending hours talking and fooling around with friends. i miss not having a care in the world and being 17 again. i miss going to the gym because i had nothing else better to do. i miss looking at the street lights at night to see all the bugs that swirled around them...i miss having time to do something for myself, like write in a diary or read a book. i miss reading books. like novels i mean. i real a lot. nothing imaginary though. i miss my imagination and i miss drawing and painting on my window every spring and autumn. i miss playing with my dogs in the leaves, in autumn, in the snow, in winter. i miss talking to some random old person for no reason just to make a conversation. i miss hanging out with my love and walking in the cemetery at night. i miss eating pizza in the park with him and singing avril lavigne songs. you'd think i have time for this. you'd think it's not important. but it is. i don't make any time for the important suff...


marți, 4 ianuarie 2011

Hear yee, hear yee!

Howdee! I used to have this really cute thing with my best friend when we were "younger" . It was a diary that we used to write to each other and stick all kinds of weird stuff in. It got stolen eventually and we got it back YEARS after...i always kind of missed doing that. So, this here is a blog that I've created to serve this purpose and this purpose only. Maybe Bella won't have the time to write in it as much as i will, but i just want to keep a weekly diary of our friendship this year, see how that works out! Joy , oh, joy! See y'all on Sunday so we can gossip a bit about Bella's behavior this week!  :D